What’s inside Toto? More stuff.

The good news is, it’s a blog. I could be showing you these pictures on my smartphone, or a (remember these?) slide projector. You’d have to put with a narrative and everything.

We left off at the TotoLounge, with is just a bunch of seating and windows and light fixtures and pillows. Underneath the seating, there is some storage, and also some gadgets — batteries, something called a Converter, and some wires — which means you have to be careful what you might store there. But also there are these Bully Tables.

This is a bully table in the Up position. Just above it there’s a 12-volt power outlet. We have found this handy for charging cellphones and tablets. It is said that we can use these tables for dining, as well, although so far only beverages have made it onto these surfaces.

In the down position, a bully table looks less threatening. Also, there’s more space on the cushions for terriers.

No one knows why these are called Bully Tables — this in an ostensibly anti-bully era. (Why weren’t people anti-bully when I was a small, bespectacled junior high school student?) Actually, someone knows, but I haven’t asked her yet. Onward.

One last, wistful look at the TotoLounge, and we move on. Note, on your right (which is Toto’s left): a refrigerator, and a microwave oven. Up-top there’s a rather glaring air conditioner Let us explore them.

The refrigerator is preposterously large for the size of the trailer. I suppose one can work up quite the appetite hiking in the wilderness; we’ll find out. Air conditioning? Only works when Toto is plugged in to a current bush, and only needs to be on long enough for Team Toto to pack up and get the heck out of there. If we want to bake, we’ll go home and stick our heads in the oven.

Just look at this cavernous thing. That’s a freezer up-top. Wouldn’t want to go to the wilderness without Otter Pops, or possibly frozen Margarita mix.

This LED light in the fridge is just plain eerie. Did you read Stephen King’s Tommyknockers? In that book it was green. This is the blue version. I keep expecting to open the door and see a poor little doggie hooked up to some kind of horrible tricycle device.

There has been a lot of loose talk about these refrigerators not being quite chilly enough in warm climates like you might find in Texas or Florida or even Whistler, BC during the Most Hideous Heat Wave We’ve Ever Experienced (don’t ask). We are hoping that, here in the drippy northwest, the cool factor will be adequate. Wow this is taking a long time. If this were a slide show we already would have taken potty breaks. All right. The microwave.

Wait, up there above the fridge, what’s that? Gadgets. On the left, the display portion of our Electrical Management System or something like that. It has a big, built-in surge protector so Toto’s wires and gadgets don’t get fried when the behemoth motorhome next door turns on its 90,000-volt air conditioner. On the right there are gauges. Push a button and find out how soon we’ll be out of water, or out of space to store used water, or out of space to store really stinky water. Also there’s a button to turn on a water pump, which is sometimes needed, don’t bother me about it now. Oh and you can get a vague idea of the battery’s mood here, too.

This is the most exhausting tour ever. Do you know that my mother once gave Disneyland tours? It’s true. In the 1050s. Every time she tells the story it gets a little more grand. Well. The microwave.

No, wait, let’s cool it for today. Microwave tomorrow! Also: air conditioner, bathroom, and possibly The Bed! Personally I can’t wait.