It just lies there.

It is about time you heard from Team Toto again. But at the pace he’s been going lately, Dad isn’t going to get another post put together before Memorial Day. I am stepping in, filling the void, as it were, before Wally does. You don’t want to read whatever Wally might have to say — trust me.

Please do not think I hold Wally in anything less than the highest esteem. He is, after all, a living being, and as such deserves respect and courtesy. In my experience — more than eight years of it, I might add — this approach is best.

I have decided to share with you my opinion about a product. It is a thing Dad acquired at the Camping World store. When he brought it home, Dad told Mom that it was a thing called On Sale. Mom cocked her head — Mom and Dad really don’t know how to do this correctly — and spoke in a low growl (also not really correct). Something about when is there not a sale going on at that place. I lost the thread a little bit. It happens.

Anyway, here is the probably the best way for you to view the thing Dad brought home — a picture showing how I use it.

If you can stop looking at me for a moment, you will see that I am lying on something. This is the thing Dad got and brought home and called it On Sale. This caused Mom to smirk. You might want to take note of how good I look in this picture. It is something I am used to hearing. Also, someone should point out to Dad that there is an additional product placement exploitation opportunity in this picture.

I am not going to leave you hanging, wondering what is this thing. It is an Aeroweave Breathable Outdoor Mat – Santa Fe. The Santa Fe part refers, I believe, to a color, or really a combination of colors. It is also a city in New Mexico, which is not very much like our home in Gig Harbor. You see? I have been listening.

Now, about this mat. It is big. It might be many times the size of my bed (the one in the dining room, the one I rarely use, because I prefer the recliner). The colors are muted. I know this because Mom said Look At Those Muted Colors.

You might or might not know that Cairn terriers are colorblind. Not figuratively — we see the nuances in life — but literally. Literally, we see things in shades of gray. They are all beautiful, in each moment, always. The shades, I mean.

This Outdoor Mat – Santa Fe is woven. Some idea of what this means is looming somewhere above my head, but it hasn’t arrived yet, and I’m not sure about it. There are no threads. There are thick strings which have the same scent as used plastic water bottles. I have known this scent since I was six months old and Mom and Dad took me to a beach place called Tofino. One of them dropped an empty, used water bottle onto the carpet, and I found it to be a wonderful chewing toy. It made a satisfying crackle sound. You would have liked the sound, too.

Here is what I can say about the Mat. First, Dad needs to understand where to park Toto, so that the mat will not be partially on the parking pad and partially on the dirt or the grass. When there is this kind of split, there is a tripping hazard. It doesn’t bother me, but I have seen both humanoids and, of course, every time, Wally, trip over this thing.

But that is not the Mat’s fault. That is something for Dad to work on. I believe he will take this constructive criticism philosophically — he might think of it as an opportunity to make the better, kinder choice and earn his way to a higher life form next time. Probably not all the way up to Cairn terrier, but some degree of progress, perhaps.

The Mat does seem to collect some of the stuff from my paws, and possibly humanoid shoes, before it gets walked onto Toto’s theoretically (but rarely) pristine floor.

Also, I’m okay with how the Mat improves the feeling of lying down on Earth. There is less abrasion to irritate my sensitive tummy, and possibly less dirt. I am an Earth dog (Dad says, incredulous), but I prefer something between myself and Earth. Things should be soft, and a little cushioned. That is just how I feel. It might make me an imperfect choice for reviewing a Mat, but, I will remind you, no one else is taking the trouble to post anything here. I am just trying to help.

One other thing to note is that a windy condition will cause the corners, or even a whole side, of the Mat to raise up off Earth and behave unpredictably. Carefully spaced grommets, however, allow Dad to fasten the edges and corners to Earth, and this defeats the wind’s efforts. Ha ha. Dad can be clever.

I remember on our last trip, Dad used these grommets, by hammering stakes into their centers and down into Earth. People who had nothing much else to do called this a Tripping Hazard. I’m not sure about this; I don’t know about that. I have never tripped on anything in my life.

On the whole, I would say that the Aeroweave Breathable Outdoor Mat – Santa Fe is a fine piece of design and workmanship. It looks like it will last a long time. Mom and Dad find it easy to shake out, although Dad has muttered several times that Mom is difficult to locate when it is time for this shaking. When Dad shakes it out on his own, then, the next time we go camping, Mom wonders why it doesn’t look cleaner. I think that humanoids sometimes find life puzzling.

I get it.

I am going to try and find Dad now. I believe it may be time for Snack.