Prepare to be amazed.
Just look at this terrific shower caddie. It’s a Command Small Shower Caddie, ordered from Amazon, of course. The product copy on Amazon’s site assured me it would be easy to install, and that it would hold stuff that wanted close at hand while showering and perhaps doing other stuff.
It really was easy to install. There are a couple of brackets that go on first (you can just see the tops of them peeking out above the back of the caddie). Those brackets get stuck onto the shower wall with something called Command Strips, which are supposed to be highly sticky, and also said to leave no trace of goo if and when you remove them.
First, you stick one side of the strips (there are four of them) onto the back of the brackets. Two strips per bracket. Be sure to get ’em stuck on there securely! Then you temporarily attach the brackets to the back of the caddie. Rub down the shower wall with isopropyl alcohol, tear off the Command Strips’ backing, and… attach to wall!
You’re not finished yet. Next you need to remove the caddie from the brackets — this is achieved with a gentle upward tug — set it aside, and then put some serious pressure on those two brackets for 30 seconds. This is how you tell them you really mean it. Next, set your timer for 24 hours, and wait.
This part was really dull, but oh well. Having endured the entire waiting period, it was now time to reattach the caddie to the brackets, this time with a gentle downward pull. I swear I was gentle. I swear I did this right.
After this big win, I moved directly into the Towel Hook Phase of the operation. Same brand (Command), different hooks. Had to feel around the walls and figure out where the flat bits were, because the hooks really want to be on a flat surface.
I think I got a little vertigo during this period. Everywhere I looked, shiny, curving, uninterrupted white surfaces. Is this what it feels like to be in a blizzard? (I certainly can’t remember. I haven’t been in a blizzard for many years.) I had to keep stepping back and checking the window to keep my bearings. Seriously.
But I got those hooks mounted, and waited the prescribed period for curing (only 30 minutes in this case), and just look how super this job is. By now I’m thoroughly impressed with myself.
What with all the beauty and vertigo I was experiencing I was compelled to exit the powder room and move on to other tasks. Back at the TotoLounge, I stared at various storage areas, wondering where I should put Toto’s small collection of tools. I had to bring the tools out of Toto’s front storage box in an effort to reduce tongue weight — that’s something we can discuss later.
As I stowed the tools, a pronounced thunk emanated from the powder room.
The shower caddie — or, more specifically, the Command Strips that held the shower caddie to the wall — lost out to gravity (which always wins — always).
I did not cry. I did not say any words Mom would object to (though, admittedly, Mom’s vocabulary is getting more colorful as the years progress). I did not slam a fist into any part of Toto (still too new).
Instead, I decided to call it a day, go back to the house and up my meds. This is Your Fault, Command Strips! Oh, probably not. And here’s something interesting: the Shower Caddie, Small came with two full sets of Command Strips. Why? Well, I think we can see why.
What did I do wrong? I don’t know yet. When I figure it out I’ll share. Don’t wait up.Sharing is caring!
Following is daring.